THE LIFE CYCLE OF A KENYAN CAMPUS DUDE-NUTS

“THE HERO”

This is the first time you are in Campus, since from your neighborhood you were the hero because you got the grades to take you to Campus, you feel still you are the hero, without knowing that everybody around you got  the required grades to join Campus. From the high school teachers' tales that there is no struggle in Campus, you set your minds to that. Since you are so tiny and you behave girlish thinking that all the ladies will love you just like the dudes and prefects in high school did. To your surprise, Campus divas love big bad boys. Here now you start trying to  “Katia” (seduce) each and every chick of you size! But what you forget is that they love big boys. U try as much as you can to be close to ladies but fear telling them the truth about what you want. In the end, you become 'just friends'. When you try to touch them,what you hear scares you away! “mmmh aa I thought we were just good friends, mi sitaki hiyo. I have never done it before!”  you get scared and leave it at that.

THE CONSOLLER

                At the beginning of the second year things start changing. All the girls you were with will be taken away from you by other guys. But still they will not dump you coz they still need your company. When stressed, they flock your room and frankly tell you what is happening in their lives. However, it is highly unlikely for them to admit be humping some fourth year dude. You try as much as you can to make them feel at home, make them tea, watch movies with them while as they lie on your laps but you wont do anything more than that. They will be spend most of their time in your room. A week or so later, they are back to their dudes, but are courteous enough to occasionally pass by from time to time to say hi.

REALIZATION

                 All the way from first year all the guys have known you to be a player because of many girls you walk with, one by one, they start realizing that you are just a  toothless dog.  At this point, everyone has realized that you engage yourself in some cheap arguments, so that you can seem annoyed and probably get some attention from the ladies. You start hating your body size and start using steroids to build up your body so that you may attract the ladies, who are starting to elude you. Everything you do backfires, all the ladies you try to tune never accept though they agree to being just friends. This makes you desperate and you start going to night clubs with your buddies. You start drinking so that girls might see you as a bad boy. After coming from the night clubs you opt to go and pay for commercial sex and with time, it becomes your  routine.  At times, you get a chance to masturbate while in the bathroom or at night when your roommate is not around. 

THE BAD GUY

                In your third year, now you are a self proclaimed bad guy. Your body muscles are high, you drink almost every day of the week or more than that!. At this stage, you will get a guy trying to seduce sugar mummies. They need more money to sustain their heavy drinking. Those who are lucky get the sugar mummies and those who are not engage themselves in robbery while others become waiters in city bars and clubs. During the freshaz night, the guy can elope with two to three freshaz. You are now a grown man, you  can have sex whenever you like, or so you think. You start doing tattoos , studs and everything you know to get attention and some popularity around campus. In classwork you start to fail, exam never pass without you getting a refer. However, you consider that as normal as you can pay for a refer ( sup). This is where most guys fail totally in life, they can easily contract HIV, or other diseases. 

THE HUSTLER

                This is the final stage of a guy in Campus, with a few months remaining to get to the finish line, you start realizing that some of your classmates have already invested and are driving expensive cars, you now fighting hard to finish your sups so that you can graduate. You becomes totally confused out of the sad awakening. You no longer get interested in chicks; you only fear for your grade. Some of your friends are already working (part time) with some companies. You start looking for job adverts, moving from office to office. Finally you get a call that two of your Campus divas are pregnant. WTF!, time bad.

 @ Campus life. Do your shit but never keep the fuckin books far from your reach.